three hundred sixty five.

what change a year can bring.

i am constantly, in each moment, thankful for all the changes i've experienced over the last year. a year ago, i was in a miserable, broken place. a place i thought i couldn't escape, a place that turned my world on its head. and a year later, i could not be more thankful that it all happened the way it did...to bring me here, now.

it's funny how sometimes you have to let go of something you absolutely don't want to... in order to realize how much more you deserve.

i watched a movie this morning that made me think of him, fondly and with nostalgia for the first time in a long time. make no mistake...it's taken drastic change to get far, far away from that situation... a new city, new email, new phone number...but there was a glimmer of fondness. for about five seconds...

only to be told the nasty remarks that were sent as recently as last week, from him to me. nipped that nostalgia right in the bud. why, after it's been made abundantly clear i want no part of it anymore, still try? and by try, of course, i mean insult and demean.

i was told recently that somebody reads this, you can guess who you are...

the things you are being told about me are the same things i was told about everyone before me. take a minute, consider some logic, and think. what's the common theme, where does the flaw actually lie? it's not a difficult conclusion to arrive at if you aren't swallowed up in years of one sided love.

it's all so tragically comical to me now. there are hints of sadness, little twinges, but more than anything it's mind bogglingly down right funny. the things people hide behind. the refusal to treat people with decency. the slander of the word love and all it should stand for, and how it's misused and abused and cheapened.

all i can say is i am so thankful NOT to be part of it anymore. there is way bigger, way better than that for me in this life. no more settling, and you shouldn't either. yes, you.

yo ho yo ho <3

SJ

he's cuter than cute. he takes care of his body consistently. he's from alaska. he's well educated. he's quick witted and hilarious. he's just as confused as i am. he's honest and he's patient. he's nothing short of adorable.

solid gold.

wait

they don't love you

like i love you

a little crush.

i finally got me one! <3

now that's some truth.

Pathological liars

Lying is the act of concealing the truth [4]. Most people do so out of fear.[5] Pathological lying is considered a mental illness, because it takes over rational judgement, and progresses into the fantasy world and back.[6]
Excessive lying is a common symptom of several mental illnesses. For instance, people who suffer from antisocial personality disorder, use lying to benefit from others. Some individuals with borderline personality disorder, lie for attention by claiming they’ve been treated poorly.[7] Pathological lying, on the other hand, can be described as an addiction to lying. It is when an individual consistently lies for no personal gain. The lies are commonly transparent and often seem rather pointless.[8]
There are many consequences for being a pathological liar. Due to lack of trust, most of their relationships and friendships fail. And, if it continues to progress, their lying could get them into trouble with the law.[9]
Psychotherapy appears to be one of the only methods to treat a person suffering from pathological lying. There has been no research done about pharmaceutical medication, to potentially help decrease patients lying.[10] Some research has been done, that suggests some people may have a “predisposition to lying”.[11]
Pathological lying is a complex phenomenon; differing from any other mental illness. It has many life changing consequences for those having to live with the illness. At this point, however, there is not enough research in the area of pathological lying, to guarantee a cure.

#shaneblay