Wednesday, July 25, 2012

three hundred sixty five.

what change a year can bring.

i am constantly, in each moment, thankful for all the changes i've experienced over the last year. a year ago, i was in a miserable, broken place. a place i thought i couldn't escape, a place that turned my world on its head. and a year later, i could not be more thankful that it all happened the way it bring me here, now.

it's funny how sometimes you have to let go of something you absolutely don't want to... in order to realize how much more you deserve.

i watched a movie this morning that made me think of him, fondly and with nostalgia for the first time in a long time. make no's taken drastic change to get far, far away from that situation... a new city, new email, new phone number...but there was a glimmer of fondness. for about five seconds...

only to be told the nasty remarks that were sent as recently as last week, from him to me. nipped that nostalgia right in the bud. why, after it's been made abundantly clear i want no part of it anymore, still try? and by try, of course, i mean insult and demean.

i was told recently that somebody reads this, you can guess who you are...

the things you are being told about me are the same things i was told about everyone before me. take a minute, consider some logic, and think. what's the common theme, where does the flaw actually lie? it's not a difficult conclusion to arrive at if you aren't swallowed up in years of one sided love.

it's all so tragically comical to me now. there are hints of sadness, little twinges, but more than anything it's mind bogglingly down right funny. the things people hide behind. the refusal to treat people with decency. the slander of the word love and all it should stand for, and how it's misused and abused and cheapened.

all i can say is i am so thankful NOT to be part of it anymore. there is way bigger, way better than that for me in this life. no more settling, and you shouldn't either. yes, you.

yo ho yo ho <3

1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy for you V. I love seeing your instagrams your smile is so real and you seem to be full of life again! Love you & miss you, always praying for you.
    :) I couldn't be prouder of my girl:)
    - Amanda