maybe one day i'll get married, and maybe one day it will look like this.

Lightning strikes
Inside my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really every wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Drop her name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through it all.
It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambient
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak warfare.

forever on my skin.

to keep from drifting apart.

"i don't fuck around when it comes to tea." -classic.

detail oriented.

last night, i'm sitting there, stuck at the train behind my house. trying desperately NOT to think about anything anymore. thinking about Bram. thinking about the future. thinking about the catfish in the seat next to me for dinner.

when i decide to look to my left, to the where house. where i used to spend most of my time. oh, look, casey has covered the windows at the top with blankets. oh....

and there starring back at me from across the street is your blanket. the one we kept at our apartment the first week we got it.

i hate that i notice things like this. being detail oriented means i'm great at my job, an amazing cook, and have a knack for decorating... but it also means there are pieces of you everywhere, in the corners of my mind, in the window of the where house, that i'm desperately trying to ignore or forget.

i don't have to be your tragedy
just let me close & you'll see

physical ---> emotional.

it's amazing to me how the emotional can affect the physical.

for some sick reason, i just tortured myself with reading through your posts, the posts you made while you were lying to me. posts you very likely made with her in mind, knowing she was reading them.

and i broke out into a sweat and felt like i was going to be sick.

when will this feeling end? you say i'm mean, well, wouldn't you be, too?