"i thought i would have been stronger by now... i'm afraid i deserve it."
whaaaaddddddaaa weekend. so much happy and laughing mixed in with anger and sadness. lots of lives are lonely and broken, and sometimes, it's good just to be in the company of those who are in the middle of sadness with you. things i experienced this weekend contributing to both:
-much needed hang time with lauren owens
-hopkins county stew festival experiencing
-being picked apart by my family for how i look, talk, act, live.... again
-taking some of the blame for being a negative influence on my little sister... again
-seeing my sweet momma
-getting stood up by my not sweet daddy
-being put through the ringer by my caring but harsh step daddy
-beautiful lovely friends who love me just as i am
-good food, bad food, shitty food
-sweet babes; niece and nephew
-not sweet babes; screaming fit throwing niece and nephew
-accepting needed help even though it's laced with guilt and judgement
-wanting to join in the reindeer games in moments of weary weakness
i could sleep for days and days.